I've been meaning to post for a couple of days now as we seem to be in the same place in our stitches. Please don't give up. I think those of us who have suffered through the betrayal of an affair forget to look at the other aspects of our M (such as the one's that may have contributed to S being open to an affair) once the affair is over. We are just so darned relieved. However, there are a whole lot of other boards out there besides the infedelity one. Those of us here in infedelity have a whole nother step to this DB process. Now we (you and I) are where the other DBers are. It makes sticking with it that much longer and harder.
Also, I have found MC to be extrememly beneficial as it seems to be the place (the only place right now) where H's feelings for me are expressed. We have become closer. I know you said that h has a hard time expressing himself so this might be the place to do it. For me, it has helped alliviate a lot of my fears and really help myself understand that it will take a while for him to fall in love with me again. Also, it helped me understand that he did choose me and is committed to me and our M- it's just going to take A LOT of time. I was not getting this from our daily interactions. In fact, our interactions were a lot like yours and your H's. So I can understand your frustration and discouragement. MC REALLY has helped for this. I have also begun to share some of the DB principals (as well as others) with H and he is open to them. He knows (sort of) that I used this board and these books while going through this s**t and so they are valid in his eyes because he noticed the changes in me. I also think he appreciated the fact that I loved him enough to spend the time researching and reading this stuff. So, maybe it's time to share some of the philosiphies with H?
We spend so long in this process not talking about our R that it was hard for me to begin again.
