So H isn't going to make it easy on you, is he? I'm not sure what to think. He looked you in the eye and that's good. But he wouldn't give you the proof you wanted and that's bad.
I'm thinking you guys haven't sat down and talked over what you need and expect in order to start trusting him again because when he first came back he was being totally open and sharing everything. If that's the case you might want to find time to do that. Maybe in a day or two.
I don't now if you've read this before, but here's a link to some info you might want to consider. Browse around there for awhile if you have time. I think somewhere on that site it talks about how the unfaithful spouse needs to make their life transparent to the LBS, but I'm not positive. Maybe if H sees that written out somewhere it'll help him accept that you're not being unreasonable; that being completely open is what people require in this sitch.
At any rate I would encourage to Do No Harm until his meds have had a chance. If you just have to step back and live and not worry about your M for a while, that may be a positive thing. Have you read Sheila's (piglet2) posts in Pieceing and Surviving? I think you have been but if not you can see how she's gone thru some of the same things you're dealing with. Back and forth on whether she thinks her R will survive. Trying to get comfortable living how she wants to live without chasing her R so much.
You've been remarkably patient and calm, Kim, so give yourself credit and a little love. You deserve peace and happiness so give it to yourself. Maybe H will be along to help with that before long.
Stop WaitingFeel EverythingLove AchinglyGive ImpeccablyLet Go
