H gets pissy because I am telling him to have sex with someone else. (hello I am joking around here trying to be nice build ec ect). How would you react to him getting pissy?
Me good playful mood lost automatic shut down. H did for once ask what was wronge and I did finally tell him that I guess I am suppose to be one of those anal woman who get all upset over the oh she is sorta goodlooking type comment. That I am sick of not being able to even play around with him without it becoming something stupid.

Well Im not LFL <dont have the ripped up fishnet stockings to go with the black stocking cap>, but Ill chime in real quick < ah I cant help it>

Your H may feel that since you are OK with him going out to get someone else, that you feel it is ok for you to do. Dont try to logic me or him about it. I'm just telling you what is.

People are not able to joke about an insecurity. Which is the whole point of this interaction. Your H is not confidant in this. and it idgits you. --For the guys reading this they were teasing/bantering and then he caved when she escalated the interaction. and it killed it-- attraction for her because of his lack of confidance.

I am suppose to be one of those anal woman who get all upset over the oh she is sorta goodlooking type comment. That I am sick of not being able to even play around with him without it becoming something stupid

Honestly I understand your viewpoint, but this is as much your fault as it is his also.
No you dont have to change who you are, changing who you are is exactly wrong. his insecurity is not about you. its about him. Bring your inner energy to the R to make it better. He brings his.
Instead of saying "I am sick of not....."

How about " You are the man I love/want. I wouldnt say these things if we wernt just playing around, and having fun teasing. Hmm, and I thought you knew how hot you make me. " you get the idea. confidant, (thats you) affirming (thats positive) and validating/placating. (thats feminine)

You are saying the same thing, but without demeaning him. that will raise his defences to shut you out. Your trying to get him to come out. Right? to make that EC?
Use sugar not vinegar.

Chrissy he brings well being to the the R. He brings his half. You have gotten better at some issues with well being because of him. I see it. You should look for it, or acknowledge it and appreciate it. He will get better at confidance if you can assist him, and help shore it up. Dont become him, and dont lose or change who you are. These 180's are being you with a positive focus, and a feminine energy.

I know... it makes you go ...blech. He passed a bunch of your tests. I should point them out. mmmmmm nope Not gonna.

Deal with it. <having to pass his tests, not-- me not telling you> Its your turn to pass some of his. Long term it will make things better. Same thing HP is doing.

I have more to say with the planning adventures etc, on your other post, smart azz blond who dyed her hair brown, but <grumble> sacramento calls. another week away from my bed. my turn to say blech.