I told you in my last reply I would tell you further about H indicating he may leave the following day then took 5 to do so.

Of course. I was feeling guilty, so read into your reply, what I was feeling. Thats twice now. once with you and once with IHJ. Urgh. I guess sleep makes a difference after all.

Im taking this week off. Work can p!ss off. I feel good. Sleep is good. I am putzing around my new place, probably go skiing thursday.
Now about that secret
No. forget it. I was wrong.... or at least, Ill settle for that.

Traditional is boring and this does not sound so traditional
Yeah Jung was a little wacked, and so is the basis for his archtypes, but most pysch majors are....... hehehe.
I use them for rapidly classifying people and relating to them. They are archtypes, symbols, objects that hold millions of pieces of information in one concept. Ive made it work for me. Which says alot since things havent worked out so well ..... ahh well. So my theory goes, My x picked up a lot of my warrior confidance and took it into her lover/poet self. ( in life we are supposed to work at building up the weak aspects of our personality. I need to work at my king side. blech. I dont wanna. LOL. ) I believe OM is a narcisstic warrior, which means he manifest himself as a Lover/Poet. She missed that part of herself and was attracted to it. He was attracted to the true warriorness that she had built up over the years, being couragous, gaining confidance. I saw the resulting breakdowns when she would spend time with him IRL, and could picture it from her descriptions of their time together. I saw how what he was doing was killing her attraction, just from her comments, and that it was failing, but it still PISSED ME RIGHT THE Fcuk OFF, nonetheless. She would/does come sniffing around when things are off kilter, but the only response I had for her was an emotional/verbal whipping or to be froze out. She wouldnt be in that bad spot if she hadnt been an emotional/physical adulterer. Now that I am detached (not lovingly though) its easy to see. I let her down in a lot of ways, but she breached my boundaries to far. I told her Contact him again. Done. PA. Done. We can/will never have a R again. Neither of us will respect me.

Been around alot of men that don't go from one extreme to the other like this Ok. so its not mature. I too have a close aquaintance who is like this. Explodes and then its over 5 minutes later. Truthfully I see him as childish, but I also learned alot about dealing with conflict and taking the bull by the horns and dealing with things immediately from him. There are positives when you mitigate the extremes of personality quirks.

You under estimate me No I dont. so lets not go down that worst case scenario road.

You have control, so he doesnt have too. Let go of some of yours, and it will create a vacumn Where should I start?

by being responsive. Not reactive. But showing some response to his actions. positive and negative. You have already started recently. You can show pain, hurt. Saying things like --Why do you want to hurt me? Is this how you show you care for me? etc. not with anger or vindictiveness, but with real sadness and hurt. This is being vulnerable, while still maintaing your sense of dignity. Proving you are tough enough to take it, (and I do think you are strong Chrissy), silently, or with returning subtle aggression is not a tactic that has worked, or a good example to set to your boys on how women should be treated.

Now you my dear ahhh man I do have a unusual banter with on this board. But since the day you appeared I have felt that there is something about you I almost know. I know somebody in RL that is so like you it is uncanny.

Good save with the ---ahhh man --part there. In my early 20's I knew many extreme magicians also. I get the same feeling. The subtle testing that goes on that neither ever really wins. Its funny. and never goes anywhere because a magician will never chase and a warrior doesnt trust a magician. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.... As far as knowing someone like me IRL. pfff. shee. acccc. as if. there is only one BF. ( I know-- that is EXACTLY what he would say too. whatever. )

I am clueless as to what you are talking about
First. YOU Suck. I went to all this effort to demonstrate histrionic markers. all for nothing. what a waste. Im laughing at myself for the sheer comedic futility of my actions. stupid BB and written communications.
So forget it. It didnt work.
Big Fat F for both of us. doorknob naive Your blond arent you? nuff said.

Still going to the dentist? <shudder>

I also can be very cutting regaurding his personal appearance and mental abilities. I really need to work on this. ok good.

But I do not not do these things so I am not indebted to him. I do not feel entitled to luxury items when I am not adding to the income and finances are already stretched.

Im so flabbergasted by this. entitled? indebted? I surely hope another women speaks up about this. ahhh
Quote:

Karen-- Hang in there. I DO THINK you should buy yourself the occasional little treat. You don't owe sh!t to H - your combined income is half yours too

This is just ridiclous amounts of independant, proving no need of H....
Chrissy I commend you for your diligence to the family finances. Too many women dont assist there H's in this area. Many abuse their H's lack of ability to say no to the detriment of the family. So bravo for that. From your background and working in credit you know the dangers. But you have gone to far.
You contribute to the family in your way. That isnt just financial. Your H contributes in this way. You can buy a freaking shirt for cripes sake, and if you feel indebted, fine. say thank you. It wont kill you.

Has he ever actually laid a violent hand on you though? Simply put yes.

well this simply brings me to a dead stop. It practically makes my brain seize. I really have nothing to say.

And yes I could have just told him my version as I did here as he watched Tv and said okay. Not much of a convo and one sided ones that exist between to people are not much in line of a conversation.
Try it when you go to bed. even if you 'know' it will be one sided. Try it. You made no comment about taking the initiative to plan activities, adventures though. My x was almost soley responsible for our social life. she kept track of bdays, anniversarys, etc. and certain specific activities that we did annually, or biannually like the symphony, or going to plays. It was her jog to remind me of them - continually- because I would forget them. Not that I didnt care, I just had my own stuff to remember. I had stuff I 'took care of' and she had hers.

H seemed shocked as I just stood there waiting. Okay let me explain I was so use to employees just changing in front of me at the end of shift that I really thought Uh-huh. sure. your always testing right from the get go. <funny> and I know where it comes from...
He a little cocky/self egoish yet a air of innocents/modesty about him that was funny/odd to me and he was somewhat funny and fun. And he was a great drinking partner. mmm, there is that dichotomy. along with the beer goggles.