My biggest worry is that if I get him to be tested. He will not be truthfull with the doctor. Just a repeat of him with the anger management C.
Do I think my H is a bad apple. No. He is a good guy in a lot of ways. I can say he is selfish but I can also say he is giving. I can say he is cruel but I can also say he can be kind in some ways. I can say he is lazy and has no drive but he also goes to work everyday he is suppose to. It is a wierd mix.
The things I cannot say he has both good and bad qaulities that even out on are he does not take responsibility for his actions. (nothing is ever his fault). He is not one to give forgivness. He is judgmental and hypocritical. He is a sore looser. He is highly jealous of others (myself his brother ect). And he expects others to do things for him but does not feel others should expect things from him. (ie when we have moved family has pitched in to help but he does not feel inclined to help others the same way).
The really confusing thing about my H. Here is a man that uses force and bullying as a way to try to house break a dog. Yet spends two days worrying and trying to get a cat that does not belong to us out of a tree.
Here is a man that can shout and scream at someone then 10 minutes later ask them to watch a movie or play a game or with me then become totally loving and expect the other person to be okay about it all.
I think some time away from your family is what the doctor ordered for him. He needs to grow up
When we went to the MC this was a topic talked about. That it may be easier to deal with our problems with some distance between us. H would not have anything to do with this whole concept even if it was for the better. He did not want me out of his sight or control.
Sitting here in my everyday life I could not truthfully answer if I would miss him if he was gone. The only way to answer that question would be if he was not here.
If he got his anger under control, would his personality improve enough to where you'd want to be around him?
Yes I think. I am really not looking for the greenest pasture. Just wanting one with a little grass. So I don't think it would be all that hard to appease me in this area. He would not have to become super H just nice H for me to find some form of contentment with him. But truth be told I don't know how long it would take him to prove to me his behavior is real to trust in it enough to be able to build some EC off of it.
Glad you and your H are doing so much better. I have been reading just not posting alot.
