now the whole tone of your post was, to me, resistant to wanting to give up your control as you see it, your power and try something else that would enable you to set boundaries, and at the same time quiet his beast.
Again I state that was not my intent to seem resistant. Just at a stage I was feed up with his beast and taking a rolling pin to it seemed it would be a more satisfying and quicker way to quite it then putting in more effort to be something I am not by nature.
You are drawn to men with this inner animal. I get why
Please share this insight. I for the life of me don't understand why I could not just get involved with a normal every day type of guy.
Your angry, this is understandable, but not what I meant, or a solution.
Yeah I was being sarcastic about being so false to my own nature. My anger may have stemmed from hurt at his behavior and I was angry to act other wise would be a lie. So opted for the just do not respond method. Other then here on the board I did not respond angry or other wise. This place is a great place to come and say what you know you cannot or should not say. Just to let it out is a help.
I want you to ponder this.
Not only did I ponder I looked up the meaning of the word. I saw cheater in that word. And you were not so it did not make sense.
I am going with the part of the definition
One who doubts or rejects a particular doctrine, system, or principle.
Since the rest refers to being of no religion or belief in religion and that does not apply.
So basically what you are saying is because I am a non conformist I am hurting myself? Cannot see the forest through the trees or look beyond myself? And feel my own beliefs entitle me? Gonna keep pondering that along with my other secret. Dam you say woman speak in code.
Other issues aside, I think he wants you to need him. You dont in any shape or fashion, so you show him every chance you get. Though it be not truly honest.
My H rises to the occassion to fill physical needs that I have of him. ie Removing the tree from the yard. Though it takes him a long while to respond to those needs. My H never and I mean never has rose to the occassion to fill my emotional needs. Any time I have left the door open to allow him to walk in and do this. It leaves me feeling dissapointed and resentful towards him. I recently left that door ajar again and as always he succeded in making me want to slam it shut in his face (I posted about this to Cemars offense). Do I have these needs sure but since he is incapable of fufilling them why keep putting myself in a place to be let down over and over again by him. And making me more and more angry/disappointed/distant from/at him. Seems senseless to me. Then not only do I have to deal with what ever the need was myself I also have to deal with the feelings it arises in me towards him. I rather just deal with one thing then two on my own.
How about a half&half protein shake?
One word Yuck!!!! Remind me to never go out to eat with you. Do you eat normal food like pizza and nacho's?
Oh and heres a question does crab have calories? Or is it just the butter you dip it in that has all the calories. My Lil Sis and me where just talking about that and neither of us knew the answer.
understood, and thanks for the protection.
Ahh that is my duty in life to serve and protect.
Your H loves you. I use the term loosely. He needs you, you are the air he breaths, the sun he grows towards. He is nothing without you. He is so dependant on you, it wrecks him. It is not healthy, it is not balanced, it is not blah blah blah.
Yes and this is a burden that is to much for another to bare. I do not want to be all these things to him. I did not ask to be. When we were going to the MC this was the focus of most of our conversations. H believes this is love this is marriage and so forth and would not budge on this. H cannot understand how this is so draining and life sucking. This is what he feels he is entitled to from me also. For him to be my world.
YOU have all the power. Untill he takes it with force and anger. Can you tame this animal? You know how to make men dance in many ways. Can you change your perspective, and your life learned techniques--yourself even, enough to help your H .
Yes and no. I have given up so many parts of myself to try to qualsh is fears and make life livable that I have little of who I was left to the point I no longer know myself most days or like who I have become to try to meet his needs. And it would be easy to say hay why not give up what little of myself I have left what does it matter at this point. I have already compromised myself out of a majority of who I am all in want to make him happy and livable with. But I have gotten what? So if I give up what little beliefs and needs I have left and it still is not enough to satisfy him. I get what then?
My H does not like the hollow shell I have become but he also did not like the lively person I use to be obviously since he felt a need to control and manipulate and threaten me to the point I was no longer allowed to be that person.
Does he have enough value to you to try?
The jury is out on that one at the moment.
And they seem to have a hung verdict of does he have enough value to me to try or do I have enough value to me to say enough is enough.
