Actually he cowers when he pee's in the house. Regaurdless of if H is home. Or when you say no to him in a loud voice.
H is just a little over the top in his correction of the dog with trying to house train the dog. He was going to chain this 10 week old puppy outside until he pee'd the other day. It was like 32 degrees out. I asked him what that was going to teach him. It would not lead to association oh I gotta pee I need to go to the door. Which brought on one of his yelling eposides. Other examples when the dog potties in the house instead of showing him and thumping his nose once then take him out He slapped him about the head a few times then put him out. Yelling and cussing all the while at the dog. When I pointed out correcting him was fine but over correcting was not I again got the yelling and cussing aimed at me.
It seems fairly obvious to me that he's transferring some of his anger and frustration towards you to the dog, and now the dog is taking some of the physical brunt of his feelings towards you....that's not right
My H is not angry most of the time until I point to something about his behavior being out of line. Then 5 minutes after one of his tirades he is fine. Like it never happened. This is normal for him. Example last night H started to go off on S13 I was sitting beside H. I had already sent S13 to his room for his behavior. H keeped yelling and cussing at S13. I keep eye contact with H and continued to repeat that is enough that is enough until he finally stopped. After he informed me he was tired of my [censored]. 10 mimutes later S13 came out of his room and H and him watched TV together for about 30 minutes with H talking to him like he had not just beratted him for all he was worth.
Now, I know you've stated that you are afraid leaving will send your H over the edge....there are things you can do to that end. #1 Don't have him around when you leave.....#2 Have the authorities there when you leave. That can assure you get out safely....and assure he doesn't follow you when you leave.
Yes they can do this. This is how I got out the night of the gun. But are they going to stay posted outside more doorway 24 hours a day. No. Are they gonna be able to go to school with my kids. No. Restraining orders are great. But they are a piece of paper. But they do not put a protective orb around you so the person cannot get near you. They only warn them not to and if they do not listen lands there butt in jail sometimes. Okay after the fact is not gonna do me a lot of good. I have done all this before.
I've seen too many women stay in situations like yours and become a shell of the woman they used to be....I don't want to see that happen to you.
I have already been there. The realization of this was part of my failing apart. I am slowly and mind you I know it is slowly trying to pull myself out of this and become myself again.
Just how long can you remain the buffer between everything else and your H?
I would like to say I have the strength to do it for as long as I have to. But just the extra heaping of stress that feeling I have to protect this animal from his over reacting makes me see that is not truth.
My mind frame these last few days has been dangerous to me since I was reacting from emotion. I so wanted to send my kids away for the day and just take this man on head to head toe to toe and let the chips fall where they may. But Christmas is days away and I am not doing that to my kids. So I am stuffing my anger and putting it away and concentrating on Christmas for right now. And today my mindset is so much better then yesterday.
