Im so not taking care of my well being, but oh well.

Of course just the saying he hurts my feelings will be a hard pill to swallow but it may floor him.

BINGO. There it is.
He IS hurting your feelings. Not allowing yourself to say this is TOOO much control.

You are strong. Too strong. You sacrifice your boundaries, and put up with things that "weaker" people would not.

Your strength is your weekness also.


Your current reaction to him is setting boundaries, but its a mans frame of setting one, thats not going to net good results, I fear. Have you tried this before? Did it work?

You have to be a female to his male. You have a serious beauty and the beast thing going on. A king kong. You cant challenge or compete with him, but you need to not take his crap. If you are staying for now, try some 180's. See if you can be more vulnerable, while at the same time, not sacrificing yourself, and becoming that shell GEL is talking about. If you decide to leave, I have no doubts the ladies here will jump in to assist with that game plan. your getting a grip on them is going to lead the pot to boiling over again. Time to start removing stressors.

I have a book I want to send you so email me. It will give you a different perspective on being 'strong'. I wont chat outside the boards with you or any other married female though, OK. Thats my boundary.

I have to protect you poor hapless women from my overwhelming attractivness...
Ah the arrogance is deep and endless. LOL.


My whole world/feeling stuck sickens me. I could cry but tears will not solve anything. But I do need to get a gripe on my feelings and thought process and real quick like.

I think you need to let him see this. He needs to know he is hurting you. and you have to let him know it is going to drive you away. Being strong is not your salvation here. It is your weakness. Your using it in the wrong way.

The fact that my H made a token jesture of going to see a C for his anger means he clearly understood and acknowledged

ask him what will motivate him to go again. tears? or you leaving. Tell him he is hurting you. Find out if this is truly what he wants.

Hmmm its not a secret anymore I thats not the one I was referring too. that one never was a secret, IMO. If thats the only one, Im mistaken. So stop bringing it up.

Thanks for sorta asking!
Dont need too, I know how the mouth knocks your whole body out of wack. Your gonna be all over from skipping eating, and the pain and grogginess. take a few days. Crying is good for you, gets the poison out, climaxes the emotions, settles down the system.

Let your H see the damage he is doing. Put it in his face.
We men are Idiots. Your kids need to see that his behaivior is damaging, too. Stoicly endure, like you have been --girl with the expressionless face, and you will teach them that its ok for men to treat women this way.

Is that what you want your boys to learn?