Cemar.

I knew you werent a gaggle of college boys just here to cause mischief.

Nice post. I dont think I came from a dysfunctional family- though it has become one - but my step dad was absolutely brillant at coming up with ways of telling me-- If I did such (chores, grades, competitions, etc.) then I would recieve such (rewards). I would, and become terrifically excited, in anticipation as young boys (kids) do and then he would renig. Always? ... <thinking- ouch ouch it hurts -the thinking that is>..... Yep pretty much. In retrospect it was probably his asserting himself over me. Why this is neccessary for a man over a 5-13 yo I dont know. at 14 I stopped allowing it. we were in a verbal argument and he threw me through a sliding glass door. I got up walked up to him, looked down, and said 'if you ever put your hands on me again, we are gonna fight.' although I was 14,because of my size and 5 years of aikido, we were both pretty certain where that would go.

certain personality types lean this way of wanting to be self sufficient, not needing or -bothering- others already and reinforcing development cements it. Im curious if Mrs. Nop's sisters are like this also, or if Chrissys sister(s) are? If I remember correctly Chrissy's sister chose to fight fight fight with her step dad. Her personality lead her a different direction.

I dont want, need ANYTHING/ Anybody for sure.( except my high speed internet connection and the associated personnel of troglodytes to maintain the network. ) Food, water, shelter, and I can go find, procure, and make it myself if it went that far.

SO's know when you dont let them in, and it is actually hurtful, and insecurity causing in them, as well as being untruthful and hurtful to the one denying themself of humanity. Being half of a sexual equation and tribal/social creatures.

Part of my 'going after' my x before reconcil was letting her in (verbally- 'I am hurt and angry', but not displaying it.) , letting her 'help me' ( 'get me a plate of food, please.' < this is significantly different then saying-- Would you please get me a plate of food. >-- 'Im setting up a bouncer for Nephew bday, give me a hand.' <we are doing something together- a team> )

Its not needy , and they could say no, but it will neither affect the outcome or be a rejection of you if they do. In fact saying no just reinforces the obviousness of their selfishness, their choosing to not be kind in the slightest manner.

Making strong statements, telling, ordering, commanding, whichever word is palatable to you, is very powerful, and attractive to women. (Cobra you may wish to differ, but its ALL in the delivery.)

Well Cemar you have gotten me to talk to you about this further, without disclosing anything about yourself.
Soon youll be chuckling and making me dance like Pinnochio.

Seriously I relate the above for Lou specifically, and HD.
I want to get over to your threads asap and spell somemore stuff out.