Quote: Oddly CeMar's post remind me of my H. No matter what is going on it revolves around the yeah but what about sex.
Don't lump me in with your husband. Sure, I think about sex all the time, how can I not, I only have sex maybe 8 times a year!!! Preety darn hard to NOT think about it under these conditions. But I know when loving behavior is needed versus sexual behavior when it comes to a women. This is not to say that loving behavior and sexual behavior can not be the same, they ofen are. But their are definitely times to distinguish between the two.
However, I did not know all the problems that both you and your husband have. I think that he is dangerous to you, the kids, and even himself. Either he gets himself straightened out or you need to consider the welfare of the children first and remove him from the family. As for yourself, I think you need some counselling to dispel the deamons of your past. You grew up in a dysfuntional setting where there was little love. The result of this is often children will learn to avoid dissappointment in life by essentially losing the ability to want. Wanting makes a person vulnerable, and children in dysfuntional families learn to neve make themselves vulnerable, they become self sufficient and do not want to place much trust in others for their own happiness. There is a whole chapter in Passionate Marriage just about this, titled "Who wants to want". These things describe my wife perfectly, but because she has made herself self sufficient and is a strong women, she sees herself as normal and does not need counselling, however, she has no ability to want.
