And while yes in the day and age I grew up respect was a default. For my elders and my mother. You did not back talk your elders regaurdless if you agreed with them or not if you felt they were being fair or not.
I have had some rows with my mother but I usually show her the utmost respect even at age 40. My mother prides her self of this the fact that both myself and my older sister are respectful. But I would say she earned our respect. When young there were boundries and consequences if we crossed them. Punishment that taught us not only responsiblity but respect of her boundries yes brought on somewhat by fear of punishment. But it was taught to us never the less and earned. Later as we got older even my keeping to myself in my step fathers household was out of a aspect of respect for my mom. Not rocking the boat and creating problems for her doing without without complaint. Was a form of respect to her. As I have gotten older I respect her and all she did or tried to do for us. All she gave up in a effort to raise us the best she could.
Don't get me wrong there was a time in my life I was very angry at my mom. For allowing us to be in the situation we were in. For allowing someone so much control over here. But mainly for not looking for happiness for herself. She settled. Now again sitting where I can see it was for our benifit in her mind.She was uneducated and what she sold herself her dreams and hope for happiness for was what she thought would be a better life for us kids then living in a two bedroom apt living hand to mouth and living on handouts.
And what I thought was settling was execptance of her choices. And learning to live with the consequences.
In that aspect I am truely my mothers daughter. With some exception I am not as uneducated and I am much more self confident then my mother is/was. You can kick me and I may go down but I will stand back up eventually and I will be swinging.
I do not believe in putting kids in the middle of a situation. My H by mouth states he does not but by actions states differently. When I tried to leave last year I did not talk him down to them. But he was on a mission to make me look like dirt to my kids. And that my leaving him was out of lack of love for him and them. The games he played with them was aweful.
Perhaps I should do more research before offering up my opinion.
Your opinion is yours to share regaurdless of the situation. Sharring it and discussing it is the only way for yourself and others to learn from it. I have had opinions in the past that others have lead me to understand that maybe instead of saying this is a set opinion across the board to being this is my opinion in this situation. All about learning it is!
