Quote: The who initates it demon has reared its ugly head in our bedroom a few times. H started complaining that I don't initiate enough.Which finally I just simply stated when I want sex I tell you or start it. If you want it then you need to do the same. If you lay there waitting on me to start it when I am not the one horny that is your bad and you will remain that way waitting. I own my wants own your own. I don't reject you that often anymore nor go into it with a shitty attitude so fear of rejection two or three times a month is your own demon not mine you can either deal with it or remain horny. I think the hardest part in this for me is the trying to sort through when he wants sex vs when he does not. As stated before my H gropes me alot. This has been big issue in our relationship. H has stated that just because he feels me up does not mean he wants sex. I have tried to make him understand that when his actions are the same to just get a feel or actually wanting sex it leaves me trying to figure out which is which. Example night before last H wakes up puts his hand down my pants and starts messing around while letting me know his male memember is hard then drifts back to sleep. He does this often through out the night. Twice I ask him if he wants to have sex and he says no. Last night he does the same thing and I don't respond he gets pissy because he wants to have sex. Hello?
Chrissy,
A lot going on in your overall sitch, but that part jumped out at me. It seems to me to be some sort of cruel power-play on your husband's part, sort of like Stacey's wife coming to bed naked and then not wanting sex. While I do think there can be legitimate "huggy/kissy/even grabby" things that one spouse does that doesn't necessarily mean they're in the mood for sex, what you describe above would be taken by 100 people out of 100 as being ABSOLUTELY a signal for LM!
You need to call him on this, and it can be as simple as when he says 'no,' you say "Then why the hell did you put my hand on my C&CK then???"
Even if the SL stuff hasn't improved as much as you would like, it does sound like YOU are dealing with things better now than six months ago, so take some strength from that.
