I agree with every bit of advice that you have been given. I also know how hard it is not to want to prove these spouses wrong in their thinking of us. If you don't rock the boat, or if you are the peacemaker, she may think why did I ever leave this guy, right? If only it worked that way!
Look, right now, it is what it is. She's seeing someone else but doesn't even have the courage to own up to the truth. She made you empty promises about being honest with you, and how long did the honesty promise last?
You can't believe a thing she tells you right now, whether it's about why this happened, or why she's bouncing checks. So then I guess my advice to you would be no different than what anyone else has said before me. Protect yourself at all costs and focus on yourself and your child.
The Holidays suck in general while we are going through this, but I'm sure it's worse for you guys when you don't have your children with you. This board got me through more than a couple of holidays. If your lonely or need to vent come here and do it. If you're missing your marriage or life as it was, someone will always be here to get you through the rough stuff. There will always be someone willing to keep you company.
For now I would try to keep myself busy. Go out with friends or be with family if that helps. Isolating ourselves only gives us way to much time to focus on our loss.
Even if your wife was to do a 180, life as you knew it would be very different. She could never just waltz right back in and pick up where you 2 left off, too much water under the bridge for that!
With time, you might even wonder why you put up with her at all!
