You have to look out for your OWN interests. Your STBXW isn't. You are too overly concerned about what or how she thinks of you. You cannot afford to be held hostage to STBXW's whims or opinions. If STBXW raises hell over it, just simply say, "I am sorry you feel that way. I am in charge of my own financial affairs and am doing things in the best interests for S and myself." Don't mention about the account being overdrawn. Just go about your business quietly and set up a separate checking account for yourself.
Have you gotten any legal and/or financial advice from your L regarding this particular matter?
