Well guys, I thought I'd give a mini update before next year.
Things have been peaceful here since I came back from Andy's and I haven't been upset at all. I had several 'withheld number' calls (usually Andy) so I've not been answering my landline. Luckily my charity is not open this time of year because that would force me to answer.
It started snowing on Boxing Day and snowed for 4 days. I can't walk at all in snow so that meant I've been house-bound for most of it. I went to a friend the day before yesterday for a meal and some beer which was nice and I told her and her husband about my awful Christmas.
Her husband said that if people are having large amounts of dope, it can make you irritable when you don't have it. He says that Andy's aggression is probably that. I saw elements of this in the M. One time we had a conference in London and he'd been smoking dope all night and he then drove us under the influence (I was 22 at the time and didn't realise you're not supposed to drive after having it, I thought that was just alcohol) and I remember on the journey he was SO snappy with me. I kept saying 'stop snapping', it was like he was gunning for a fight.
I made him stop smoking it because he used to have this really lovely personality, kind, easy going etc.
Then he told me a few months ago that he started having it again several months before 'the bomb'.
That would make perfect sense to me. We had this wonderful M most of the time, so that would account for the 'out of the blue' way he left. If it does make you aggressive, that would also explain why he hit me and why he is always on, off, on, off and why he loves me one day and then doesn't the next.
Maybe it affects memory? Does anyone know if excessive use of dope can affect memory? Maybe he just can't remember what he does, hence the behaviour.
Certainly, when he fed me that dope cake, it made me so sleepy I couldn't move off the sofa to turn off the TV. That explains to me why he doesn't get out of bed until 10 or 11am every morning. He probably CAN'T.
And he has quite a lot of drug from what I've seen. He has several cigarettes of it in the evening, every evening, and sometimes 1 while he's cooking the tea, because he's smoked it in the kitchen when DD1 has been in there talking to him.
Then if EX-OW1 comes over (which she has every time I've been there), he will drink Bailey's and coffee and smoke it with her, and that's like the middle of the afternoon.
Then he has these cakes with dope in them that he eats as well as the cigarettes. I'm sure all that would be enough to affect judgement.
Does anyone on here know anything about soft drugs? Because I might be barking up the wrong tree.
But anyway, my friend's husband gave me something to think about.
The snow has finally cleared today and I'm going to my friend's to see in the New Year. We're staying overnight and having dinner there tomorrow.
