He's also my ex-boyfriend. I dated him for 3 years before Andy and was friends with him for 3 years before that. We grew up together in the same village, I've actually known him for longer than Andy, slightly.
It caused a rift between him and Andy in the beginning because he said Andy had 'stolen me' from him.
Then in August 2003, during the really nasty court process, I slept with him (consentual). We'd been leading up to it for a while as he used to come for weekends and eat pizza and watch movies, and we'd go out places etc.
He helped me get the groceries once and we sat in this cafe with DD4 and when the waitress brought the food she put DD4's next to him and said 'I'll put yours next to Daddy.'
He didn't correct her, and when she went away he said 'I wish she was my daughter.'
We discussed it, admitted we both had feelings for the other but basically decided against an R because I wasn't over Andy, he was uncle to my children (too complicated), and he is also bi-sexual and I was unnerved by his liking for men. I know bi like both sexes, but still.
Anyway, despite this convo we still ended up in bed a few weeks later. It was actually really good, but I was completely messed up from court hearings etc so I got angry with him afterwards and rejected him and we didn't see each other for 2 years until this August.
He has stated he still has interest and wouldn't discount anything, but it's not mutual. I don't want to go down that road again, also, he met a guy he had a casual date with the other week so I am waiting to see if that develops.
He was making explicit remarks and referring to himself as 'ex-lover' etc so I didn't feel I could have shared the bed with him. I know myself and I reckon I would have slept with him and then just regretted it. I can't imagine anything worse than sleeping with BIL in Andy's bed.
And I feel in the emotional state I'm in, it would have been taking advantage of me, so that's why I was so anti. At any rate, it isn't normal to share a bed with your BIL, ex-lover or not.
But I know he wouldn't rape me. He could have when I was doped out on that cake and didn't.
