greekgoddess, Ah, but here is the beauty of the 180, and how you can take control. Dont use that mug any more, simply because he hates it. He uses this as an excuse to start an arguement. Take it away and he loses control, you take control. Talk to hom and be nice always, no matter what. in time, he will realize what an a$$ he really is. If he wants to change, then he will. If not, well then, he is a worthless sack of dung. People will see this and tell him he is so, if they have not already done so.
Ah, but nice doesn't work with him. It can be nice for weeks and then as soon as I don't give him something he wants with DD4, he turns into Mr Nasty, OR, and this is the most common one, he just says 'you're only trying to get me back' - he is so arrogant and conceited that simply being nice would never work with him.
Besides, after 4 years I've had enough of trying to appease him.
I don't have much advice on this, but I just wanted to let you know that I've been to Nottingham! I was in England for a week and spent time in Nottingham, Mansfield and Manchester. I saw "the tree," which I'm sure you know what I mean . It's so beautiful there! I live in central Ohio and it's snowy and ugly here, so I wouldn't mind some milder weather like you may be having...
Jo, I'm wondering if Andy doesn't purposesly "push your buttons" to have ammo to prove you're not fit to have custody of DD4? Especially, if there's witnesses (such as BIL). Be careful.
In spite of Andy, hope you and DD4 have a wonderful holiday. You deserve it!!!!
I have no doubt that Andy still has designs on DD4, but he hasn't a hope in hell of getting her. I have all these diary enteries of what has been going on, I have his msn ILY's and sex messages to prove exactly what he has been doing.
There is no court in the world that would think it unreasonable of me not to want to spend Christmas with my EX and since he gets 5 days in the New Year for contact and extra summer holidays, I can't see them making an issue of Christmas. Even if they did, it's civil law, not criminal law, so I can turn round and say no.
What are they gonna do, lock me up for wanting to spend Christmas with my child? Even if they DID lock me up, it'd only be for a few days at most, and I'm perfectly prepared for that if necessary, in the name of justice - the suffragettes had to get locked up numerous times before women got the vote.
I will never agree for him to have my child at Christmas when he has taken my entire family, never.
In fact, I don't even have to reply to his solicitor's letters if I don't want.
DD4 is fine. I don't abuse her, neglect her or anything else. She goes to pre-school, unlike my other children, she is emotionally well adjusted (unlike DD2 who is a mess), I don't smoke around her all the time or take drugs like Andy does, I don't have loads of men friends coming to the house like he has women.
I haven't self-harmed again like when he first left and she has lived with me and only me since she was born, so I can't see that he would have a hope in hell's chance.
I'm just tired of being friendly when there is always an ulterior motive with him.
While I don't agree with being strong-armed into doing anything (try merely unplugging the phone for a day!), I truly hope that you can take away some beauty from Christmas. Focusing on your daughters is a great idea. Maybe arrive with a tradition, such as a reading or prayer or a food item/drink preparation that you can share with them alone - without any necessary involvement of Andy.
Regardless, Merry Christmas to you and yours! I hope this new year brings you both peace and happiness.
Isaiah enjoyed DD4's drawing you send - its on my computer desktop. Thank you!
Dawn does the same thing, I think they are both mentally ill. Threatening to take you to court for not going to his house is completely crazy.
It is difficult to get along with a normal person if you are together all the time. To have a R, children, deal with bills and life is impossible with a "nut cases"
We have to figure out how to stay out of their web of control. Today I feel scared for your safety, that is sad to threaten you to take you to court, it makes so sense.
It's sweet that Isaiah liked Alicia's rabbit. I thought it was quite a good drawing for a 3 year old, and better than a standard Christmas card. She really loved putting it onto the computer, she was excited about it.
I've got some photos of her with Santa and another one of her with 'Bob the Builder' and one of her with Billy Bear, I'll send those to Isaiah - he'll probably like those.
I am bringing round some Christmas movies (for children) that they haven't seen and a cake with a Christmas Tree on the front. I am really anxious about this and don't want to take too much stuff or put too much effort in in case I come away feeling taken for granted.
Just not sure how to play this, even my clothes I wasn't sure of. I've been looking in my wardrobe all afternoon.
I was going to wear my court suit (can't accuse me of trying to seduce him then), but can't find the suit trousers, just the jacket. So I've decided on a silver velvet top (he hates silver colour), grey skirt and the suit jacket for tomorrow.
Don't have the foggiest what to wear for Christmas Day or Boxing Day. I've got beautiful party clothes but I don't want to dress up in front of him. It seems a shame to wear jeans on a special ocassion, though.
Very nervous and dreading this but it might not be as bad as I think.
Hi Jo, Try to have a wonderful time with your D's. They seem to be very excited to have you there.
One of the "new" traditions that my D and I started is......and it's sooooo silly.......we wear matching PJs for Xmas eve and Xmas morning. At least we look silly together!!!!
Anyway, hope everything turns out better than you're hoping.
. It's so beautiful there! I live in central Ohio and it's snowy and ugly here, so I wouldn't mind some milder weather like you may be having... 