Formulating a plan for 2006

[Just_Me]

I said I had kids to watch them grow, to see the first tooth fall out, to pin their pictures to the fridge, to be there when my DD got her first period - but you can't do any of that has non-custodial mother. My reason for having them is gone. I can't watch them grow. They pin their pictures to HIS fridge and when my DD lost her first baby tooth, he didn't tell me. I can't be the mother I wanted to be. No Earth mother, me.

I told him all this and he said 'If that's the case and you really can't be happy like this, I think you should leave them. It only causes them confusion like this, and there's no sense if you feel you can't have a new life like this.'

I said okay.

I shouldn't even bother posting, but I keep hoping. It seems to me that you see two solutions: Being a whole family again or never seeing any of them again. It's as though Andy and the girls are conjoined. I just don't understand why they come as a set, even in your mind. Can't you say..."I want to see them, but without you and without your criticisms. Everyone parents a little different and let me do it without your comments. You know Andy you aren't the worlds best parent." I personally think he sucks as one.

Guess what Jo? I've got pictures on my frig. I've seen their teeth fall out. My XW doesn't corner the market on memories with my kids because she's the custodial parent. This is the life of divorced people. They miss some of the stuff and make memories that don't include the XS.

I really feel for you. I do sympathize and I sympathize with your daughters. I do think they have their heads messed with because you and Andy cannot find a way to coparent. You are both too stubborn to look into solutions. But I'm done posting. Sometimes it doesn't help to say anything. People will go down cheeseless tunnels even when they are told there is no cheese there.