Well I know that I was in for a low point despite having such a good marriage session...but this is TERRIBLE...(can't fight back the tears)

I just found out that last Thur night (the night of our "great" marriage session)...OM stayed over at W apt...Can you believe she could be so pscho...she says all these things to me and then OM comes over to have sex the night of our session...that is truely sick...

I told her about going to KC for my grandfather this weekend, who I just found out only has a few weeks to live (going by myself of course) and I asked her if she had plans for the weekend...she could have said anything and I would not have cared...she could have very easily said going out freinds, don't know yet...anything vague...but no she says that she is going to see her sick grandmother in beaumont and then she was doing this and that...all major lie...W has been with OM all weekend between her apt and his house...why come up with such lies? she could have said anything and been vague and she would never been caught in a flat out lie.

I think I'm getting off this roller coaster...I understand that there will be highs and lows, but when the highs are all fake what is the use. How does a person go to MC and then sleep with OM all in the same night...heck, our appt didn't get over till 8:45pm...It is taking all my energy not to call her right now and tell her to go to H@ll...

I think my biggest fear is coming true...it's all a big cherade...and she has me and our therapist fooled...I know I am angry right now so I'm proud of myself for holding off till calling, but only because when I tell her that I think that she is sick and needs help, I want to do it calm and composed like I was in the therapy session.

I don't want to be married to this girl...it takes a certain person to have sex w OM on the same night you just had a marriage session with H...and not only would that person not be a good W but not a good mother either.

The pain is too great...I have tears streaming down my cheeks as I write...I want it over. Why does she have to hurt me...just let me go.