I think you're on the right track. Be her friend and regain her trust. That's a good start. It is very difficult to do though, because at a time when they don't deserve our friendship, that's when you have to offer it the most.
I wish I had more advice to give you, but I don't live with my H. now, so your situation is not familiar to me. I wish it were. I consider you one of the lucky ones, to have W. living at home with you, and OM so far away. You stand a very good chance of working it out in time.
Good luck.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
