Quote: This is a Long Distance Relationship. Many issues here...LDRs are difficult enough to continue but when you still have both parties living with their SOs HELLO? Your wife doesn't want to send a card because of GFs feelings? HELLO...why would she really care? Maybe she deep down knows that there is more to this than she is letting on?
I think she cares because she met the girl in Hawaii at the retreat before she had her 'soulmate' experience with OM. She knows the GF is needy and also has MS. I really think she feels guilty, hence the question she asked the other day "I hope you really were going to end it with her before you met me and I was just the catalyst". Just like he was tha 'catalyst' for her to leave me. Like I said, the day before she called me and told me she loved me and missed me. Seems like she doesn't want to be the CAUSE of the breakup.
Quote: What is more attractive...someone who is geographically and physically attractive or someone you spent a few days with and that you may never see again? They become an illustion of grandeur...can they ever live up to your expectations?
Yeah, I agree with that. Right now he is an illusion of extreme grandeur and I am 'just there'. She shows very little emotion to me and no love. But we do have moments from time to time. Then they are gone. She is obsessed with OM.
Quote: GF still lives there...if they are not married, then she has no ties and she would be po'd and she would move out, lease or not, she'd dump the lease on him just in spite. Trust me...
Well normally I would agree with you but as I said earlier, she is a NEEDY person. According to OM she doesn't want to face the 'truth' that 'it is over'. I think she is neurotic and he is too. Remember they have lived together 3 years so they have had the opportunity to become codependent. I don't know about other people, but when I was 36 I COULD TELL which women were neurotic and which ones were OK. Actually, when I was 21 I could tell within a week of dating someone. But usually within 10 minutes of talking to them. If he got into this relationship with GF and she is needy and neurotic and he either didn't see it or he was ATTRACTED to it then what does that say about him?
Quote: Where did she stay when she went to see him? DId he stay with her overnight or did he have to run home before the sun came up...or does he have a job that would put him out of town?
She rented a hotel room. They went to a town 80 miles away from where he lived so they stayed overnite. Don't know what he told GF.
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Okay, he's 39 and renting...how is he going to afford something if he moves to CA? And who plans on moving where if they take this to the next level?
Well, W says there is no man that would make her leave her kids. "She'd rather have a hot poker stuck in her eye". She says this a lot. Would he leave his friends, business, roots? For a 37 year old woman with kids? Well W says he doesn't like living in Connecticut as he is from Florida. And I recall him saying he might just go back there, to Jacksonville. Personally I don't know how he could make a living out here as a massage therapist, or a teacher. Southern California is overpopulated with both of those things. And where he lives now he has a whole house in a small town for probably $1,000 a month. Here he might get a small apartment in the CITY for that. Talk about culture shock.
Besides, I have NEVER known any man who would make such a drastic change in their life for a woman they barely know, even 'for love'. I would even be pretty hard pressed to get her to move to where I am and live with me or near me. That is one hell of a responsibility, to get someone to change their life so drastically. And, most men are not going to leave their jobs / roots / friends for love. Do you know anyone who has?
I know that logically it should just not work. But WHEN? Right now she is trying to set up a meeting in February with him.
On a different topic, tonite she is at a christmas party with one of her single friends. The friend is about 300 lbs and nice enough, very outgoing. Next to her my wife is a godess. Who do you think the guys will go for? I know I shouldn't think that there is any real chance of her getting hit on since the party is an office party in a college for counseler training or spiritual education or something in Santa Monica. The kind of people there will be mostly women and the men will be, well, 'spiritual'. Any men who are her age, 37 or older, and are single might be a little lacking in personality.
I remember reading that there is no shortage of single divorced moms in the 35-45 age range but a huge shortage of single men in that age range. That's why so many divorced women with kids don't get married again.
