Quote: Did she figure out that you were referring to being worried about her?
The conversation ended pretty quickly after that. But she had to subconsciously make a connection to the following:
"Am I ignoring my family with this obsession?"
"How CAN Frank stand in front of me and be concerned about how I feel when the feelings he is concerned about are things that are hurting him?"
(Answer: Because he loves you, silly)
I think she will be wonderng about these questions. maybe in her dreams or in the back of her mind, but she WILL wonder.
Oh, that party on saturday, she didn't want to go because last nites party was all 'couples' and she felt out of place. We stayed home and I made a fire for her and D10.
Quote: I'm still not convinced about the OM. I still think his GF has no clue as to what is going on. He could easily get away with telling your W anything she wants to hear and then resuming his life with GF the rest of the time. What have you confirmed about them again and their R...other than GF has still not moved out? Reason why she hasn't? Do they own property?
Actually I searched the property filings for their house where they live (I know a lot about him and I know how to find things on the net quite well). They do not own it, it belongs to someone else. So I will assume it is a rental. Gee, he's 39 and doesn't own his house. Especially when houses there only cost like $150,000. Nothing like here in lovely Southern Cal.
I do know she hasn't moved out because W asked him where to mail xmas cards to him since she didn't want to upset GF. She probably hasn't moved out because she co-signed the lease I guess.
You are the 20'th person to say that he could be telling W a story. I think he DID tell GF 'it is over' and he told W that GF "won't accept it". I try to give people the benefit of the doubt but it sure does keep looking fishy. I remember when I was in my 20's, I broke up with a GF of 7 years and it was pretty amicable. BUT whenever she called me and I wasn't doing anything I would not turn down a little intimacy if I could get it. I would find it HARD to believe he isn't doing the same.
My secret hope? He decides GF is more important, or meets someone locally. He has a conscience and tells W they have to be just friends or stop talking. Then she gets hurt, sees that 'in love' is not 'real love' and we actually have a chance to pick up the pieces of our lives together.
The week before she went to 'visit' OM so they could be friends she was in a similar place emotionally. She had been pursuing, he hadn't been responding as much as she would have liked and in fact did not call her for a week. She and I were starting to connect as 'friends' and I could see a light in the distance. So if she does get dumped I believe she will be hurt enough to where she will lean on me, and that may open the door towards the real work we need to do.
