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BUT, in order for the 'new' relationship to work, THEY also have to not NEED to get their energy (self esteem) from US or we are doomed to repeat this



frank,
someone that I talk to told me tonight that she believes this is WHY my H. is having an affair...because he has issues that drive him to want to be with a needy woman that wants to be saved. My own strength is actually a turnoff, in a sense. H. has such low self esteem, he needs to be with a woman who is desperate right now. That's why he has become so addicted to their R.

If he doesn't change this within himself I don't think he will ever come back to our marriage. It's very sad for me to have to realize this, but it's true. So your counselor is right.

Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.