Quote: That doesn't reflect on *us*, Frank, it reflects on *them*. No one *wants* to be depressed; it's not like it's a good time and a way to just "get attention." It's hell.
I see what you mean. I guess that since I was drinking to cope with my depression that I see it as me being 'weak'. People see drinking as a 'disease' or a 'weakness' but, tied to depression it is something much worse.
My wife blames all our problems on me drinking, and doesn't tie it into depression at all. Just how I drank and was not present, angry, sad or whatever. I was being angry that she didn't do what it took to help me, but now I see from what you say that I'm more angry that she gave up after not trying very hard or enlisting help. I WAS sick. I NEEDED someone strong to help me up. She keeps saying she 'tried' but I wouldn't let her help me. I said to her "WHY didn't you get someone else to intervene???" A friend, a family member? She says she 'tried' but nobody would believe her.
I know that if SHE was in that same place I would pull the moon out of the sky, I would drag her to therapy, I would do whatever it takes to get her better. I wouldn't 'hide' and 'be scared of her reaction'. I would kick ass.
I stopped drinking on Oct 22nd for the last time. This was when W came back from her trip and started telling me she didn't think she wanted to be married.
Even thought I'm on medication I have had to really fight not to drink because it's the way I have been coping with my pain. But, I have an inner strength that has helped me out. I hurt a lot, but I also know that if I drink it will make the hurt worse, not better.
So, thanks for helping me to see that I was sick, not bad.
