Quote: She felt that by leaving, that was the best chance for us to heal ourselves.
My H has said this to me, too. The good news is, I guess the really do care about us. Plus, she's not leaving or asking you to go, so that's a good sign.
Quote: 'I am letting you go, I am severing the threads that hold us together.'
This sounds like it was rehearsed. Does she really mean it? Frank, she really does sound like she's in a total fog. Will she come out of it? I don't know. I don't think OM is actually that big a deal; I think it's more about you and her, not him and her.
Quote: So, we have made a commitment to learn to be friends while we are living together.
I know this will be terribly hard. I can barely manage it w/ H and we're not living together. But at least you've agreed to *learn* about it; that means it can be fluid and you can set the rules as you go along.
Quote: She agreed to go see our counselor together so we can address the old hurts and forgive them, then we will able to be friends and move on.
This is great news! It may lead to "just" being friends and splitting up amicably (worst case) or it could lead to a whole new R. This is really good, Frank.
Quote: I keep thinking 'if only I wait it out...' but right now I am not in a place where I can risk myself emotionally.
I know what you mean. I am backing way off for my own sake; I just can't can't take the stress anymore.
Quote: It seems like a final 'goodbye' to all that was between us, and starting from scratch with no intentions other than to just get along as reasonable friends.
Yes, but I think that has to be done in order for you to move forward at all. It is so, so hard, but it is actually a positive step. Many of us are in the sitch where our Ss want to be "friends." Part of me feels like H wants to have his cake and eat it, too, but another part of me feels like this is where we have to be to start again.
I'm really sorry that you're going through this. As another poster wrote, this was a tough day; I hope you had a good sleep and feel better today.
Nicola
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
