Am sure others have been in this position, and wondering about all the now whats?
H and I seperated now, 10 months. H with OW, and we have just in the last few months made few baby steps. But I know they are still together. H comes home only about 1x week. H in MLC, also very depressed and shows much guilt about "how he ruined everything". but never talks about our R or going to counseling. I have been workin real hard at my DB and believe he he noticiing how I am still very much wanting to reconnect, but slowly moving on with my life.
But now H and I having sex for the first time since we first seperated brings up lots of new feelings of course. It happened after a fun dinner we had together, 2 margueritas sure unwinded me, but then when we got home, I couldn't stop my eyes from tearing up , and all of a sudden the dam burst. Nothing I coulda done to stop it. I think it just builds up sometimes. I think I can only go on as friendly strangers for so long, keeping everything else inside, and then it happened. Can't change that, but the sex was tender and loving, and great,--but still no R talk. I even felt strange the next morning with him, like I was with someone I never knew. I even tried to make a joke and said " Now what's your last name? and where did we meet?" I know we are both different now and probably will always be aware of that.
I think I am hoping to hear how others started this way and that this physical contact continuing could lead to more intimacy and R talk. I have been with him for 26 yrs. and never imagined I would be debating the pro's and cons of sex with my H. Otherwise I am trying not to think that --H with me today, OW tomorrow, maybe me this week, but OW tomorrow! Part of me feels that he can't have us both!, but I treasure that night now for a long time, and it helps me get through some lonely ones now and more to come I am sure.
