In my sitch it varies...there was so much initial contact at first by him. It was actually very cute because he would text about the silliest things. I would either engage or ignore. When I ignored he threw temper tantrums. Then I went dark for a bit and then so did he...then we started up again and we actually met...then we had the confrontation with ow and then we've both gone dark again.
In some sitch's I think the WAS needs to know that you are still there, the lighthouse so to speak, to show them they way home when they have completed their journey with the op. It's how you handle the communication that is very critical. No mention of your R, their current R. Just keep things upbeat, lighthearted or business like in discussion of finances and the children. I found that by being pleasant we got further and talked more often. One of the neat things I learned to help me when talking is that I was smiling when I talked to him. It helped me keep upbeat. It's hard to be angry or cry when you are smiling. When you are done, don't initiate any contact. Call a close friend and pull yourself together.
