What the heck do you do when OM/OW calls the house

[Tornadoed]

Well my feelings have always been that you shouldn't contact the OP, because it will always backfire on you. So in that sense, I feel a little stupid - for some reason I let my emotions get out of control, and now I am a little concerned that if OM tries to turn it around on me (he did say that he was returning a call - I guess I'm thinking he might tell W that I contacted OM, which is something I told her I wouldn't do), she will believe him over me. So, in a nutshell, this might backfire on me the same way calling the guy and telling him to back off might.

But, the thing is, W hasn't told the OM not to contact her. That might be the issue with my outburst, I don't know. I feel like if W took the step of cutting off contact (or even asking him to back off for a while), that OM would either a) move on, or b) hang himself with his neediness. But W is hesitant to take that step, which makes me feel a little foolish for letting it slide.

I agree wholeheartedly on the selfishness. I don't know this person from Adam, but I do know that he has whined to her about her having dinner with her family instead of him (even though he lives 400 miles away - what's that about?), he has ignored W's wishes not to call the house, and he ignored my wife's wishes when she asked him not to contact her around the time of my Grandmother's funeral - which makes me believe that he would be terrible if W was to tell him to cool it for a while.