Something runs through all of our comments. I believe it has to do with just acting happy when with the S. And not just when we're with the person, but at other times when we're alone--b/c this has a carry-over effect on us and who we are with.
Yes, it's hard, but smiling, smiling, smiling and being upbeat and pleasant works wonders. It's so good that we are here to remind one another of this. Because this will not come naturally while we ache for our mates.
One of you mentioned looking good and smelling good--this is very important. My WAS told me last Sun night (after he'd had a date with OW) when I went to the RV that my perfume was hipnotizing him.
Almost seven months ago when he left and we began dating, I started using one kind of perfume, and I wear it all the time. I wanted him to associate this fragrance with me. Now, he says that I really turn him on and that the perfume is wonderful.
Thanks for the reminders about not talking about the R, M, and OW. I'm going to print out this advise, stick it down into my purse, and when we go out Friday evening, I will go into a restroom and reread it--just so I will not forget and give into the non-productive and damaging modes of behavior that sometimes seem to come out of nowhere.
It's so hard to get out of the wanting to discuss everything pattern, especially when my H does nothing but date the OW, and his work is not conducive to discussion.
Yes, it's great to let them talk--if they will, but all he does is ask me questions about my work and hobbies, which are pretty interesting, compared to his work. We even talk about he other man that I'm seeing occasionally (mostly for hiking).
Do you guys have any ideas about how to handle this?
