Lass, I doubt you need a swift kick. I found with my sitch that I relaxed when he stepped up, not so much because I was doing anything negative but because I was acting like a woman. It may have been a little premature (that is, right after he started acting more aggressive I slacked off and it gave him a mixed signal).
I think what I should have done in retrospect is reassure him that I loved it and that it was just giving me more freedom to act in a way that was more natural to me. This would have pumped him up (you're so dang manly that I can't help but act like a typical chick in your presence!) while reassuring him at the same time.
