I think I may use some of your's and HP's words on this topic almost verbatim to my wife. Thanks!
"Also, when she does do something (no matter how small) in the right direction...validate it, let her know you noticed and appreciated it."
I have been doing that, and it has worked to some degree. It did have the side effect in a few cases of causing the "well I've taken care of that, now I don't have to do anything else for awhile" reaction.
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
