Ugh! I need a sticky note on my forehead that says, "She's testing you." Although it would be hard for me to read it at that location. Hmmmmm.
I was looking forward to W coming to town to help paint D10's room this weekend. D10 also had her first YMCA basketball game on Sat. This meant my mom would be coming to town. Mom has become very glommy lately and I know she is high on W's list of reasons to WA. So I was a little panicky over getting mom to come and go as quickly as possible.
W left a VM Sat morning asking if my mom was coming to town and stated W would be meeting us at the game. I thought W was coming to paint too. I let my emotions take over and failed to see this as a test. I left an acidic VM that said we'd see her at the game since she didn't want to ride with my mom. W returned with a call that denied she was avoiding my mom. So the rest of the day was a walking on eggshells day. The day ended when W suddenly announced she had an outing with some GFs and would be back on Sun to paint. She also told D10 that she would stay the night Sun since she had to work in town on Mon.
Sun was more or less a repeat of Sat. W called and asked if we were prepared to start painting. I had to sand down some sponge painted walls so it was going to be an hour or two before actual painting would start. W said to call her if I was nearing the painting stage. I again failed the test, got annoyed and failed to hide it. Couple hours later I was nearing the painting stage but I wasn't going to call W. If she was only coming to town to paint, then she could buy some paint and paint her own place. I didn't want her around if we were only her painting fix (she does enjoy painting).
W then called to let me know she was on her way. When she arrived we both were in a pissy mood and said very little to one another. W kept commenting about the silence in the room after we chased the kids out to keep them out of the paint. I popped in my new Keith Urban CD for some music. W was floored that I owned that CD. "My your music tastes have really changed." I painted and said very little till we were done.
I whipped up some supper and we all enjoyed it. W jumped up and said she had to go home b/c she was meeting a possible client in the morning out near where she lives. D10, S6, and I all said, "Oh, you're not staying the night here?" After the dishes were done W said her good-byes to the kids and asked what I was angry about. I didn't want to talk about it in front of the kids so I said "nothing". I was in the garage when W finally left and she asked me again. Not wanting to start a huge discussion I said, "I'm just tired of this whole thing." W said, "Do you not want me to come to the house anymore?" I answered, "Not if it's just to paint. Would you have come to town if we weren't painting D10's room?" W said, "Yes. Why are you bringing this up now when you had the whole time we were painting?" Then W left. She did call later to say she was sorry. I don't really know what she was sorry about and she couldn't say.
The night before S6 had been asking to watch our home video from x-mas at grandma's. I said lets wait for when W is here Sun night. W had asked that I tape it since she wouldn't be at x-mas. So Sun night after W left we watched the tape. When she called to apologize we were watching the video. She was bummed that she hadn't gotten a chance to watch it.
If I can get to a place where I can recognize what I believe are W's tests, then know how to handle them, I think I could wrap this thing up and get her/us working on the M. Right or wrong, I see every move W makes as a test. She wants me to step up and do whatever it is that will draw her back in. After months of giving her space via DBing, it is difficult to know what steps to take. I plan to start with a covert pursuit. Not to out and out ask her to go out on a "data", but to just trip her attraction triggers by being confident, decisive, funny, and in charge. But since my resentment kicked in so fast this weekend I blew a great chance to attract her. I was anything but attractive. Sheesh.
