Seems like forever since I last posted. Been feeling quite detached yet maybe a tad too hopeful. Is that possible?
Been reading David Cunningham's ebook from makingherhappy.com and it's been very eye opening. Especially the communication part. Found out W is very typical in the way she communicates. I always thought she was just annoying me on purpose but after having it explained Cunningham's way it makes perfect sense (men make statements to solve things - women negotiate for drama). So now I have some skills to work on and some additional confidence, thus the detached hopefulness.
Update -
Over the holidays W has said and texted that she misses all of us very much. I hesitate to put much stock in this until I see it reflected in her actions. There were signs over the past few weeks, but I'm not sure if it's due to the holiday mood and/or that she has been sick several days off and on. She's been kind of clingy and melancholy. She touched and caressed my hand once when I rubbed her back. An interesting tiny thing that I view as a plus is that W needed some personal documents for her license problem. After collecting them from the house, she returned them instead of keeping them at her place. Maybe nothing but I thought I'd note it.
S6 spent several days at W's place over the holiday break. D10 had a birthday over the break (hense the new number) and she spent a few days in Denver with my sister. Both kids have enjoyed their break.
I hosted a NYE party at my place and invited everyone that I know. Due to it being a last minute thing the turnout was a little low. So if anyone wants a beer stop by. There's plenty left over. Everyone did eat most of the food I made. W was very surprised by my choice to hold a party. She had to put in her $0.02 of advice and said she and S6 might stop by. I knew she wouldn't (if she doesn't give a definite "yes" then it means "no"). It made little difference to me. Everyone who stopped by had a good time. I got a hug from a couple female friends when they were leaving. Not sure what that meant, but it was in front of SIL and her H, so I liked it. I plan to make this an annual gathering. Next year I'll start inviting earlier.
I plan to continue my experimenting with leading W and displaying confidence with some humor thrown in. I'm avoiding being needy, placating, and sucking up to W. I'm also making decisions without looking for W's approval. The party was an example of this and I'm redecorating D10's room (with the style/fashion guidance of D10 of course). W has invited herself to help paint this weekend so more chances to tweek and experiment. Should be fun.
BTW - for a mild 180 I shaved off the goatee last night. Who is that young guy in the mirror? Where did the scruffy guy with the grey flecks in his beard go?
