Should I snoop about OW? your thoughts

[PandaWanda]

I believe that information is power and I do snoop all the time - but VERY carefully. Yes, it did hurt, because I found out that they are sexual although he assured me - and still does - "we are just friends". And it was painful to find out how often they contact each other - I learned it was daily.

First I confronted him, he denied, then I told him what I knew and he was furious. Now I learned the lesson, so I don't talk and he thinks I stopped snooping, but I still do. And I am glad I do. I know they see each other twice, sometimes even three times per day. It is very painful to actually hear him say "I love you, you are my girl", but I feel better that I know what is really going on. I hear how needy this woman is and how superficial are their conversation - I feel now so LESS threathened (especially after learning how to deal effectively with this situation to accomplish my goal on the long run).

I listen to all conversations going on in his car - including him on the cell phone. And in some weird way it is actually also quite empowering to know exactly what is going on. It is actually funny how after a "loving" chat with her he calls me cheerfully -- ah, if she could hear how he is cheating on her :-)

I don't feel that knowing hurts me any more than NOT knowing. Quite contrary. Now I feel I have even more control of the situation.

Knowledge is power. Knowing what's really going on helps me to strategize based on facts not on my hunches and hopes.

In case you are interested, here is how I snoop:
In his car, in the backpocket of the passanger seat, every morning I place a digital recorder Olympus WS-200S (17 hour non-stop recording time on one tiny battery - make sure you disable the beeper if you want to do it!)

I must admit, I am a very strong person. Not everyone can handle the stuff you can discover through snooping - not everyone will find it as useful and empowering as I do.

Greetings to all of you - one day sun WILL shine into our windows too!