Seriously, my advice about snooping is that I do understand the desire to, but it gets you nowhere. I just end up hurt, and it doesn't change my situation whatsoever.
May I play devil's advocate here for a minute. I have been tempted to spy (my neighbor is a real PI, and he is willing to teach me how). I figure that nothing I find out is worse than the way H treats me or the horrible things he has accused me of or said to me.
And in my sitch, there is somewhat of a benefit to it, I believe. My H is spending our mutual money fast and furious and probably because of his MLC, he is getting himself into business deals (not illegal - just stupid) that are blowing our life's savings.
I have already seen an attorney and he says the only way I can stop the spending is to get a seperation agreement or file for D. Since I wish to do neither until I absolutely HAVE to, I think it is wise to keep tabs on what H is doing with our money.
I have a remote, stealth program ready to go which will record all incoming and outgoing emails and IM's on his computer. He won't know it's there and everything he writes will be forwarded to me by email.
I have no other way to know when H is getting our finances into such a knot that it cannot be untied. Right now he is just dallying with a few bucks....but I can see the time is coming when I will have to know what he is up to.
