Hi Ellie, just saw your post. You know, I am certain he does have depression. and he absolutely refuses medication for it. I see it in his dad, it's very real. but It's a really delicate sitch. i may need to think of suggesting it somehow to him, but.....here's what's happened before: several years ago, I did get him to talk to his pcp about it, and she put him on celexa. he was on it for probably about a year. STOPPED taking it about the time he started up with monster....oh yeah, that wonderful woman CURED him of his depression. he just stopped taking it. AND he accused me of being "in cahoots" with the dr, that the 2 of us were plotting against him (plotting what, I've never had a clue of) but he was furious, irrationally furious. She was my college room mate a million years ago, but I love him and she is very professional and sharp and neither of use would ever do such a thing. At the time, I just kind of ignored that accusation (he made it several times) and told him that if he felt uncomfortable with her, he needed to find a physician he could be comfortable with. I don't think he's been to the dr since, and I havent brought it up.

I just had a scary thought. I wonder if he could have a kind of slow-cycling bipolar. Although I've never seen him really manic. His aunt had a pretty severe psychiatric disorder, I dont' know what it was, but now that I think of it it kinda sounds like it could have been that. hmmmmmmm

H said he didnt like the way the AD's made him feel, complained that he felt numbed out. plus, they interefed with his and monsters sex life . guess that in itself would be a good reason for them.

oh yeah, at the wedding dance, I had to think of mlc....I saw the teen ager in him....he was throwing pieces of mints at people...at my brother, the brides brother, I think even at the bride. And he hadnt had much to drink, maybe 2 beers and 1 mixed drink. pretty out of character.

I don't know how to approach him about meds without making our sitch worse. And much of the time he does seem fine.

There is some good news though, and the sound you hear is me singing loudly as I dance naked on the roof top: D and SIL close on their house a week from today. get the keys. and we will have that stressor out of our home. I just hope they can do ok money wise, it will be a strain for a while.
but they are so excited, and they could have S13 stay with them for some weekends. In fact, when h mentioned the out of state conference, we talked about that, and he said "that's what we'll do" and have me go with him...which would be really really nice. been parenting full time for almost a quarter of a century and got another what, 7 years or so to go.

Also, found out there is enough equity in our house that we could borrow against it to take care of some of the debt. DONT want to do that, but nice to have an option identified.

1 step at a time, I guess.

been around awhile!