man, I'm not feeling so well this afternoon, either, queasy stomach. I mention that because 2 days ago, SIL got sick, vomited and passed out a work, and they called an ambulance to take him to the emergency room...seems to be a bug going around, maybe that's whats wrong with H and me. At least it would be fairly short lived.

Ok, to update, my last post was 2/22...on 2/25, we all went out of town, 6 hours each way, for my nieces wedding, 6 hours each way driving, and it turned out to be the wedding from hell. Seriously. neice was an hour late for everything, which made it even an hour late for the ceremony, the wedding party didnt show up for the reception for an hour and 1/2 after it was to start, they didnt have the help needed (some of the help didnt show up)...and H and SIL and my brother were real troopers, pitched right in and tended bar and did a jillion other things. H never even complained. not one bit, and it was driving me up the wall so I know it was him.

on a side note, this is unbelievable, i am still blown away by it. My sister sewed covers for 300 chairs for the reception hall. I guess it's an indication of how much I've changed, there would have been a day when I'd have thought that was cool, now I just found myself thinking how sad it was, that she spent all that irreplacable time she could have spent with her family sewing all those. Plus she works 2 jobs and her H works 3. Guess my priorities have changed.

While we were getting dressed for the ceremony, H was "horny"...told S he could go watch the big screen tv in the hotel lobby while we dressed, and we thought we'd get in a "quickie". That was not to be, in true-to-form fashion, my mother comes knocking timidly on our door, saying she needs to speak to me. I ran into the bathroom trying to pull on my slip...H was quicker to get presentable, and answered the door. I talked to my mother from the bathroom, and it was the weirdest thing. Honestly, I believe she is developing some dementia. Anyway, she had this letter from the 1st guy I ever dated....probably 35 years ago. He had sent this to my parents and asked them to get it to me. It was telling me that a hi school classmate had died and when the memorial service was. Really weird, the person who died was an acquaintenance, not a friend.
And the guy who sent the letter gives me the creeps to this day.....so weird that my mother would be doing that...I guess she is clueless. Anyway, I was pretty preturbed by the whole thing, and said I couldn't imagine what the idiot guy was thinking, and H said "he wants you back after all these years"....made that comment several times over the weekend. Weird, really weird.

Anyway, we were pooped the entire week after that. That Tuesday was staff meeting here at work, the hated staff meeting. I got this email from H afterwards:
Quote:

I love you, you sure look nice today. I see monster sat up front, but no hair flipping or carrying on, too busy snarffing food. Oh well, I’m just glad to have another staff meeting behind us as I hate them with a passion! Love you, D




I really enjoyed having him say I looked nice, but obviously he was looking at monster, who was seated in a strategic location ...

H seemed pretty cheerful and ok, better than he had been, the rest of last week. Thursday he stopped by our house with a female coworker from the out of town office when no one else was home. This kind of bothered me, but the kids came home shortly after they were there...H told me about it, said they had stopped to get a book she wanted to borrow (they car pool). she had been wanting h to go with her to a weeklong conference in NC (she's there now) and H didnt go....
Friday, I was off in the afternoon and we had lunch then took a nap. At some point, I told H that I had realized that it would have upset me a lot if he had gone, that I am not ready for that. He commented that she was just a kid, that he enjoys her as a friend and coworker and nothing else. That she is an honorable person of good character, that she "truely is what she appears to be" and that she reminds him so much of our D (yes, she does). I reiterated that it would have been terribly upsetting for me
. H agreed, said "it's a really fragile time for us". I'm not sure what he meant. H initiated ML, we took a nap (nice), and when we woke up H started talking out of the blue....don't remember what all he said, but it was about monster, and how she wasnt what she seemed, then he said that "it's like Shirley Glass says, a clue is what you talk about with another person as to whether the relationship is a safe and appropriate one. That if you talk about things you'd talk about with anyone, that's an indicator that the relationship is safe.. If it's stuff "just between the two of you", it's a warning sign. That that's what it was like with monster, that she was emailing him 2 weeks after she got there, and an example of what she said was "you are the only person around here with a sense of humor and that is so special and appealing to me". H commented that "it is so flattering and makes you think gosh, I'm really special to them and they really care, but it's really just a line to suck you in, they arent what they seem".... I just listened, was kind of shocked by his starting to talk again. I wonder if this is part of his current depression?

Saturday was his B-day...sheesh, 51. my mind still thinks we're kids. Anyway, he wanted to open his gifts first thing in the am, was really excited, hasnt been for several years. Then he and S and SIL went to his folks to cut wood and have a birthday lunch. D and I went later as she had to work in AM. I got him a "blue rock thrower".....and the guys evidently had a blast shooting blue rock all afternoon. H was as much of a kid as the kids. best 30 bucks I ever spent for him to have that much fun. I also got him a really nice framed landscape print for his office, he seems to really like it, although he hasnt decided where to put it yet, so it's still at home. Also got him a stuffed dog that looks like his precious Yorkie, and he took it to his office!

Sunday AM, he initiated ML again, and I fixed him a birthday breakfast at his request. he seemed happy and cheerful. ALSO on Sunday, he came up behind me in the kitchen, put his arms around me from behind, pulled me close and hugged me and said "ILY"...it had been several months since he had done that, and I had been wishing for it so much. I was thrilled when it finally came.

Monday morning we had some discussion about the kids moving in with us, and H commented that it had been the right thing to do to help them out, but that it had been at a terribly high price to us. At work, I got this email from him:"Good morning sweet heart! P was over here just talking up a storm so I didn’t get a chance to e-mail sooner. I have the stuffed Sid over here, showed it to A. She seems in a better mood today so I hope that lasts. Man, I’m on my second cup of coffee and that isn’t even touching how tired I feel. Well, I need to get going on some of this paper work. Love you! D

and also got this comment as he was talking about some female coworkers not getting along:
Quote:

It seems one woman can pickup what another is thinking, must be you all’s mind reading abilities? I sure love you and thanks for a fun weekend, that is a birthday to remember! Well, I’d better get to work. Later D



I was excited and encouraged by this as it's been many many years since he has given any sign of having enjoyed his birthday, usually he would piss and moan and hate it and accuse me of making them rotten for him and causing trouble in his R with his parents. In fact, for years we have had horrible fights on xmas and his bday. He did comment once that we shouldnt have gotten him so much/done so much as it made him feel bad (he's pretty much ignored mine for a long time)...

So, I don't know what to think. it seemed so good, now he's so down.

been around awhile!