Deb, I have noticed in the past that your H responds to you when you stand up for yourself. Would this be a 180 for you? It is awfully easy to lose respect, and attraction, for a person who takes all of our shtuff, kwim.
Iow, when he made that hateful comment about your weight, it may have been time to draw a boundary about what you will or will not tolerate from him. "H, if you have something to say about my weight, you will do it in a respectful way. I will not tolerate someone saying hateful things to me." And walk away and THEN go cry, as we all would!
It looks, to me, like he sometimes pushes you to see what you will do. We know from his choice of an A partner that he is attracted to a person who will not back down from him. What she lacked, and you have in abundance, is an inner dignity..and respect for him as a person. Perhaps drawing a respectful, dignified line in the sand about what you will or will not tolerate from him will intrigue him more than the status quo.
Oh and way to go on the romantic weekend! You are not still morphing, you have arrived, my dear and put most of us to SHAME!
