Quote: and he said "I'm having a hard time and you get all clingy and upset and that makes it worse for me"....I just patted his shoulder and rolled over, but give me a break. Choking him seemed like a reasonable option at the time.
I don't blame you!!!!!!!! The nerve of him!!!!!!!
Pretty clear messages, though, from him - that you need to quit REacting to his moods and Act As If better. Picture yourself as the tiny tugboat trying to turn around the oil tanker of his bad moods.
As for the thyroid/weight question - no, it doesn't mean you are looking for a quick fix. There are legions of women out there struggling with undiagnosed hypothyroidism. Here's the rundown:
- 0.5 - 3 is considered "normal" for a TSH. BUT there are two situations where that may not hold true. One is in someone with active thyroid disease - we know that for many of them, their symptoms do not resolve unless their TSH is brought down closer to 1 (and for some people, way below 1). Fertility doctors know that infertile hypothyroid patients do best at getting pregnant if their TSH is kept below 2. So - if you have symptoms suggestive of thyroid disease, a family history of thyroid disease, and/or thyroid antibodies, it's possible that TSH of 2.63 is too high for you.
2) The second situation, much rarer, is called secondary hypothyroidism. This occurs when the pituitary gland doesn't work properly and fails to send enough TSH to the thyroid gland. The TSH level may be low or normal - but it could be "normal" when it really is supposed to be 45!!!!!
One way to try to sort this all out, especially if you are eating properly and working out and seeing no results, is to insist on a full thyroid panel including TSH, Free T4, Free T3, and thyroid antibodies. If you could get all those results to me, I might have a better idea of whether it is likely to be your thyroid.
As for other things that can cause weight gain - ask to be checked for Cushing's disease (overproduction of cortisol, typically results in "moon face" and "buffalo hump" woth purplish stretch marks, but often just causes intractable obesity.
Are you having any other symptoms which might be thyroid disease - dry skin, feeling cold, fatigue, thinning hair, losing outer 1/3 of eyebrows, joint pains, mental "fogginess"??? Any family history of thyroid or other autoimmune diseases like rheumatoid arthritis, diabetes, celiac disease, lupus?
As for his "try harder" comment - ignorant but unfortunately very common. My H had the same attitude and I know many patients on the thyroid boards whose spouses have said similar things. They just don't get it, really they don't.
One of the best things I did for myself recently was to keep that log on www.selfdietclub.com (free with a subscription to the magazine). By keeping that log of my calories and exercise for two weeks, I was able to see that I was indeed dieting appropriately and should have been losing tons of weight when I was losing none. Perhaps if you did the same for a couple of weeks it might clarify your sitch better?
Meanwhile - do not underestimate the amount of distress it causes your H for the house to be disturbed. My H is very sensitive to his environment. Things that anyone else wouldn't notice or would think are normal for a housefull of kids drive him crazy. Respect that and insist on the kids pulling their weight. It's really unacceptable for them to be grown adults, taking advantage of your generosity, and not treating your home better than that.
And as far as the money goes - whether the cards are in your name alone, or not, debt is a worry to your H and a threat to your future. This is something that would be good for you to get a grip on handling, and that I bet he would appreciate if he saw signs that you were taking it as seriously as him.
