Hey dfb, I've not gotten back to you from last week, maybe it's good to not be so desparate, but then again I'm not sure so busy is good. Yes, we have some work friends, plan to do some entertaining, just need to get organized enough to do it....we had planned to have a christmas party, then got so caught in the whirlwind of D and SIL moving in....bleh
Journaling: We had a good weekend, relaxed time alone together (in our bedroom, but that's ok!). it's kinda weird, but I get the feeling H is "different" again, although in a really good way. We went to church alone Saturday night. On the drive home, H actually said "I love you so much. Hold my hand" and reached out and took my hand. I have to admit, tears ran down my face for quite a while after that. He told me several times during the weekend how much he loved me, and stroked my hair and my face (not during sex, either, if you get my gist). Commented once that "I didn't do a very good job of loving you". He asked me once (again) why I was not so openly affectionate with him before, and I told him I wasnt raised to see that as acceptable, don't think he was either, and that I always felt I would be making a "pest" of myself by "clinging" to him. I told him that he was much more affectionate now than he used to be, and that i didnt think I could have gotten him to be that way (not that I'm gonna send a thankyou to monster, though)and he thought a minute and said "probably not". Several times in the nights, he kissed my back and shoulders. I'm sure I woke to him kissing the back of my head just before the alarm went off this morning. I've been doing a lot of working out and trying really hard diet wise (for a whole week now) and commented this morning that my shoulders are sore. h said "well, you've been working really hard"...maybe that is a positive sign, that at least he is recognizing my effort instead of grumping about it or being disparaging.
I had a short email this morning that said "hey hot stuff, I sure love you"...that was nice!
A couple of times yesterday, before I went to the basement to work out, h came up from there and went out to his car; that struck me as weird. I couldnt help but wonder if he was taking monster memorabilia out...don't know if it's still there anyway, as I havent looked. It would be nice if he truely got rid of it all.
