Hi WCW, it is nice to hear from you. the teasing is just the ticket, I'm capable of that, but sometimes when I'm feeling "stressed", it just doesnt come to me. He generally responds well to teasing back....
This time I had to leave for a meeting just after I posted and used the old "when in doubt do nothing" tactic, so didnt respond to him at all, when I got back I had a really sweet email from him, responded and got an even better one. I'll post about them in a minute.

Quote:

I haven't followed along forever, but how do you keep putting up with his constant talking about monster? It must hurt and drive you nuts!



Interestingly, the answer to "hurt and drive you nuts" part is yes and no. In some ways it is actually better to have him talk about it for several reasons: he never said a word about it when things were "hot" between them, he was very secretive and deceptive. So the fact that now he talks so openly helps me to feel reassured that he's not involved with her, although I wish he'd never ever exchange another word with her. It also helps me to know what went on (to some extent) because it tends to be for the most part not as bad as my imagination comes up with, and it helps me to begin to understand the "why", which was such a huge question in my mind for so long. It also is kind of reassuring because I can tell from the way he talks about things that ever so slowly he is losing his emotional attachment to her. I think in the book "not just friends" Shirley Glass calls it "opening windows into the affair". it helps me better understand what happened.

The exception, and it's a big one, is that I ABSOLUTELY CAN'T hear about sexual stuff...I've told him this. And he's never attempted to share that with me. I would ask him to stop if he was going there. I just can't do it. Although, I'm not at all sure it would be any worse than when I used to get to hear about how wonderful she was and how fascinating, and how he loved her...and see his face light up when he talked about her. Urp. Urp. Urp ; I also find that as time goes on, it doesnt bother me as much. it used to REALLY upset me, I mean badly. now at best (worst?) it is an aggravation and irritation.

been around awhile!