ok so here's the tougher part for me. I was very inconsiderate of my family, and I'm afraid I may have set back my dbing efforts, because H seems cooler and more distant.

the story: Sunday afternoon I left to go christmas shopping at 12:30 ish. I had a lot to do, but thought I would be home about 4:30 or so. I left lunch in the oven, as H was working out and said he didnt want to eat till late, and kids were even still in bed (I hate that!).

Anyway, I had a lot of shopping to do, as had not done much at all. stores were crowded, and it took longer. I considered quitting and going home when I'd said I would, but hated the thought of having to go through it all again, so decided to keep on and try to finish. I would LIKE for H to shop with me, but that is another thing he still refuses to do, so I even get the gifts for his side of the family...

My cell phone was dead....I had the thought that I should hunt down a pay phone and call to let them know I would be late, then thought oh what the heck and didnt bother.

So anyway, I finished up all the shopping, and pulled in the driveway at about 7 PM. To all hell being broke lose. S13 ran out to meet me sobbing and almost hysterical. Said his dad had just gone to look for me.... , that everyone was worried and upset and afraid something had happened to me. I told him I was fine, sorry to be late but had my cell ran down and decided to try to finish up. S said his Dad was so upset that he kept looking out the window ( I noticed the shade was askew)...and that everytime the door opened he would run to it, that his eyes were all red and puffy as if he was trying to keep from crying. I had S help me start to unload the car...and H pulled in the driveway. FURIOUS. I have not seen him this angry in years (not since I started dbing, anyway)

He said "that was one hell of an inconsiderate thing to do. I didnt know what had happened to you"...I told him the "scoop"...dead battery, trying to get finished, etc., and H said "we've had nothing to eat all day" ...lord, the poor babies! I told him I'd left lunch in the oven and he said "well I didnt know what to do with it"...now mind you, there is a refrigerator FULL of food, in addition to what was in the oven. He commented "it's a good thing I saw the car or I would have been looking for hours".....sheesh, I couldnt help but think of the time in may or June of '03 when I knew he had to be having an A, but had no proof, and he was gone for a good part of a day, I had no clue if something had happened to him or what, and I drove around looking for him for hours, in tears. The words to that country song popped into my head "I guess you should have thought of that when you were cheating". I didnt say any of that though, just said "I'm sorry to have been inconsiderate. In the future I'll make a point of finding a way to call", and dropped the subject. By bed time he seemed better.

This morning was staff meeting; before work I was lamenting about what I'd do if monster was on the staff committee I'm on. H said we'd be friends, I said "no way, hosea, ever"...and then Damn, wouldnt you know. I walk into staff meeting and who walks in the door right behind me, although hanging back a little. yep, monster. I had to chuckle, and was smirking, and looked over and caught h's eye and he was chuckling also. Then I got this email from him:
Quote:

Ha ha, see what you get for mouthing around this morning about monster!! The two of you waltzing in the door together, the two of you so much alike!! Yep, EMPC here she comes!!! Later D


I replied ""the two of you so much alike!!"

oh, ouch, that REALLY hurts! if I knew how to make a sad frowny face, I'd put it here ______.
to which H answered
Quote:

Oh, you know that I’m just teasing! I just thought it was funny, that’s all. Later D

sent him a short answer, havent heard back, and that was at 9:30

ok, so I guess my concern is that i've really caused problems, since one of the problems in our R was that I was too independent and distant, and that H felt unloved because of it. I also worry that he's not entirely joking with his comment of me being like monster, since one of the complaints he's expressed to me about her was how unreliable she was, that he couldnt depend on her to be where she said she'd be when she said she would. ulp.

Any thoughts, suggestions?

I guess one good thing is that he has really made an effort to not be gone the last 2 weekends, though I suspect he truly is behind on his paper work, because he knows how much it upsets me. Guess I didnt reward his efforts very well. ssssssssiiiiiiiigggggggghhhhhhhhhhh

been around awhile!