It just occurred to me, that the "morphing" that's taking place is not only with me, but with our M and to an extent H as well. And for me it's an incredibly emotional process, and challenging.

H and I were having a pretty light email convo, just a couple of "checking in/how's it going" emails, talking about how nice it would be if we could be home snuggled up in front of the fireplace instead of at work today. and this email from H popped up:
Quote:

Thanks Deb; You will probably never know how much it means for me to get these loving e-mails from you. I appreciate all the love and attention you give me, you just don’t know how much it means and how badly I’ve needed it through the years. I no longer feel lonely as I know you are in this world loving me for all I’m worth. Your patient and loving approach to me over the past two years is what peeled monster’s grip from me. You have shown me in so many ways that you truly care about me, even to the point of letting me go if that was what I needed. In contrast to you it became so evident that monster’s motivations were shallow and self motivated. She in the end showed me that she really didn’t care about me, just how much better her life would be with me. I can’t imagine the hell it would have been with her as she wouldn’t have given a sh-t about me then. You have shown me what true love is and I am so grateful. You are the person I was meant to be with and that I am thankful to be with! Your grateful D




and of course the tears started for me. I guess I can take comfort in know that I DID read him and all his weirdly confusing signals right, that he was in desparate need of affirmation and affection, and that pushing and ultimatums would backfire in the end.

I also am convinced that SOMETHING has been going on lately, my guess is that she has been pushing again more than he has let me know. The urge to ask is SO strong, as Slowly said, "Inquiring Minds want to know!", but I have to keep reminding myself that if I wait quietly, all will be revealed in time. Push, and he will close up/clam up.

I hope and pray that whatever it is, is helping him to near the final closing of this book.

Of course, I emailed him back a long and sappy reply ; genuine and heartfelt though. sigh.

been around awhile!