Hi Sheila, thanks for the encouragement, again! actually, sometimes I don't do it, and the anxiety really gets the best of me. I really do struggle with it after all this time, and I find it gets set off by the tiniest things, for example I was really struggling to hold back the tears last night before H came up to bed, and he was maybe 1/2 hour later than I thought he'd be, and about his regular time, and it was still pretty early. And just now i was over in teh other building, and H wasnt in the office he's working of today, and of course my heart does flip flops. I didnt go looking for him but had to walk right by it. monsters office has moved off the beaten path, so I don't even know where hers is at the moment, I did see the conference room reserved for med staff from 12:30 to 1:30, so hopefully thats where she's at, H may have been in the break room, but I didnt go to look there, either. I dont' want to look anxious if i can help it, even though I'm sure it shows sometimes.
your comment about him feeling like he can share kind of struck home. honestly, for the most part we've always been able to talk about things, at least I always thought so. so how did we get so off track that we grew so distant that monster got her foot in the door? beats me. Certainly something to ponder, though.
