Hi Slowly....I think maybe the 180 was at the least ok....I was so worn out and had such a headache, I went home sick in the afternoon. later in the afternoon he sent this email:
Quote:

Deb; I’m sorry I popped off earlier. I am tired, stressed, and angry about the mess with the kids. I guess I’m directing a lot of that at you, I just need some time to regroup. I have not shown interest in monster, except to learn of what she got in trouble for. I know, really I should just mind my business. However, monster only reiterates that she is pleased with her life now and moving on. So please let’s just quit the squabbling, why? D




I'm sure he was probably pretty shocked that I just let that one sit, but since i wasnt here, there was no temptation to answer it ; I still havent told him i was gone (usually will say I was when I don't answer him for quite a while - which is the truth)...he also forwarded me 3 or 4 copies of emails he got from the billing dept saying he needed to get paperwork in....with the only comment being "see!...."
When he got home that evening, he looked kind of like he didnt know what to expect. We did exchange hugs when he came in , and he looked confused and "leary"...We have 3 kids in the house now, so H asked if I wanted to go upstairs for a bit....I thought he wanted to talk in private. We went upstairs, talked a teeny bit about how nutsy all this makes me, and his impression that i was sending "hateful" emails. He kept saying that he is NOT interested in her, and not contacting her, and that it upsets him that I think he is. That he lied before but is NOT lying now, and that even then sometimes he did have to go to work. that he is sorry for the lies. Then he initiated a "quickie"....go figure. I can never guess what brings all this on.

Yesterday he was warmer, although tired from his long day. this morning there was a bit of discussion about the whole thing again. I told him that part of what made me so nuts Monday was that when I pulled into work, monster was parked right next to his vehicle. Flashbacks of 2 years ago when she would park next to him and put stuff in his car hit me really really hard. THEN I come into work and get the email about him having to work on the weekend, and I'm already emotional and irrational from lack of sleep and anxiety over trying to get the kids moved back and it was a very bad combo.

And Yesterday she parked right next to him again. I swear, if she isnt parking beside me she's parking beside him. Anyway, when I told H about it, he said (again) that he didnt know that because he's not around to see where she's parked. that perhaps she was just trying to get in the door as fast as possible, and that's what was open...I told him no, that's not it. There were other spaces open in the vicinity. that she had to be doing it to get to one of us. Later H said that he was thinking about it, and that she probably is doing it to get a rise out of me and get me to go after him (that's what I've suspected) so that he will call her and tell her to quit parking there. H commented "she's gamey like that". Yeah, duh, I KNOW she is. she's a freakin nut case is what she is.

This morning I got this email from H:
Quote:

Deb; How was it coming in for you? It was fairly slick even with the Trail Blazer. J(co-worker) and I made it over without too much trouble. It feels nice to be over here, rather relaxing actually. I’m sorry about being so up tight, it’s just really stressful at home right now, little rest, no place to let down my hair. However, we just need to remember that this is temporary and we can get through it. How’d your meeting go? Well, my appt. is finally ready so got to go for now. I love you! Later D


;

later I got this one from him:
Quote:

It looks like the snow is slowing down over here and the sky is lighter. It sure is pretty to look at, if it weren’t for all the pain in the butt that goes with it I‘d love snow.

I know things are fresh and I’m sorry about that. Just hang in there as over time it will get better. We just got to make it through this time with the kids and all. If we hadn’t got them when we did I’m afraid the weather would have prevented it till spring. Well, I got to get going. Did you cancel your out of town meeting? Later D




His comment about things being fresh is related to one I made earlier that I'm having a hard time because a lot of the hurt is still "fresh" and this time of year seems to bring it to the surface for some reason.

I hope I'm not reading more into it than is there, but it seems to me that not responding was effective, and that he does understand and is concerned about how much I'm struggling, and I'm beginning to think that he is telling the truth. He keeps telling me to get in the computer and check his schedule, or that he'll print it off and bring it home. I havent told him I've already checked it.

been around awhile!