I wonder if I am guilty of reflecting my own experiences on other people again! If NG is unaware of the anxiety Slowly is feeling then yes, it is only fair to tell him. If (as in my case) Slowly’s H is aware of her insecurities and chooses to ignore them and hope they go away then there really is (IMO) little point in trying to get him to understand how she is feeling about his screen swapping. You see, I have sat down with my H and explained that sometimes I get insecure and wonder what he is doing and his response to this is that there is nothing to worry about. This is enough of an explanation for him but not for me. I like to get everything out in the open talk about it before I can forget it- he isn’t like that.
My thoughts are from reading this thread that he is aware that she feels insecure and that she needs more information about OW but chooses not to tell her. My H is very much like that. My H does not do this out of malice this is just how he likes to deal with things. He is very much a bury your head in the sand kind of guy.
For me it comes down to not being able to get from my H the openness and honesty I crave. In order to feel happy and secure I need more than he feels safe giving. One of us is going to have to compromise our needs. In the past that has always been me, as a result I am full of resentment towards H - even now.
It’s a difficult situation, but an interesting discussion. I am curious to know if Slowly has mentioned this to her H before only to have it fall on deaf ears or whether he is totally oblivious to her feelings.
