[quoteMy h seems (an ASSumption on my part) to have a heightened sense of shame over things that wouldn't freak me out at all.
Sage.
Although I had never thought of it that way before it is very likely that my H is the same. During a recent chat he admitted that he didn't tell me about the gambling because he was ashamed and embarrassed. To me gambling is legal; it is not a crime, what is there to be embarrassed about? To me the crime is not telling me about it, lying and saying he is not doing it. He doesn’t see it like that and I can’t change the way he sees things. All I can do is educate myself to be able to understand him.
Think of it like this…if there was something I was doing that caused me to feel guilty and embarrassed and someone FORCED me to open up and talk about it just so that it could make them feel better (regardless of what it did to my feelings) I would not feel very kindly towards them.
Hope this other point of view doesn’t add to your confusion Slowly