I can understand your feeling the need to talk about R, just close up loose ends and move on. Brushing under the rug can seem so dangerous. I feel the same way, and agree with Willow, a female need? My H reacts the same..."we talked about it once, we dealt with it silently on our own, we forgive and let's move on" While I think that when we talk, think more, we really get into the details of what/why of issues. Nice to hear Willow's comment....a different way of processing for men, and here I was so sad/offended that he did not make the same efforts to understand our R.
You will need that talk at some point--just at his pace. Looks like he IS coming around and you have had SO MUCH success. In life and with your M. Forcing him to talk will be bad (trust it from ME, I've done it and failed). Willow is right, he feels ashamed and that's hard for men, or anyone. Letting him come around more before gently talking about things in the future is a sign of you being understanding/compassionate that you know he is ashamed and will be gentle.
