Happy Thursday, everyone. The days start getting longer in the north from now
amd - absolutely carpe diem. Somedays, it is hard to believe we can seize the day. But with the help of real and cyber friends, we make it through
WCW - peace can be such an undervalued notion. I recall the days of anguish early on in my discovery of NG's affair, and peace seemed such an alien concept. This state of mind is so much more precious because I've had to work hard for it.
Matilda2 - if you see this, woman, we need a new thread for you!
OK, continuing with my review of 2005. Going back to my old threads still fill me with some anxiety, the memories of pain are perhaps more scary than what the pain actually was. But, this is an assignment to myself I want to see through.
Little in life is more attractive than a warm invitation to which there is no pressure or expectation attached
I find this such a valuable reminder. Personally, I run a mile from people who have a long list of what they expect from me, so I should really extend the same to NG, i.e. to love unconditionally. I guess this applies to all our loved ones. To make them feel that they are in my life through choice, and for themselves, not what the can do for me. Or that they need to change who they are in order to have a happy relationship with me. Now, if only I can get my mother to see this perspective...
Slowly, I think this boundary is excellent for you! I don't know about you guys, but when others have an expectation of me that is implied and there is not consent, I feel resentment bubbling and brewing. And unless I say something about how I feel to the offender, it doesn't go away.
Wise words from Betsey. More on the topic of expectations. Looking back, I can see how much I have progressed in managing expectations, not just with NG but also with folks at work, especially. I may not be as 'popular' as I used to be in some quarters, but heck, I am far less stressed, and frankly, much happier
And finally, something from one of my cainercasts that I think is worth revising.
Criticisms are contagious. You only need to introduce one to a seemingly satisfactory situation and suddenly, you'll find you have a hundred. Doubts and misgivings breed like rabbits - or perhaps, not so much like rabbits but like single-cell amoebas. You don't need a pair to create a colony; you can do it with just one. Happily, positive thoughts can be just as powerful. Be careful what you spark off today.
I'm off to spark some positives today. Wishing you all a fabulous run up to Xmas. Slowly
