Hi Chris - One of NG's LLs is words of affirmation, so its something I am always on the lookout for - taking advantage of these opportunities has really made a big difference in how he has been opening up over the past 18 months.
Ellie - Yeah, I noticed the similarity too - although I hafta say, now that I'm keeping mum, NG is actually becoming the analyst/fixer, Which is fine by me. Lately he has been full of suggestions about how I may want to handle my rather unreasonable new boss
And so another Friday rolls in - we have been invited to a party Saturday night at one of our neighbours, which will be fun. Its also an opportunity to tease NG a little. While browsing through one of my earlier threads I came upon this text, which I must have borrowed from another poster, but it is a good reminder for me, that I need to work a little on the ummm, erotic front.
The Erotic Mind, by Jack Morin.
The Erotic Mind explains the many paradoxes of erotic life, such as: why we're most excited when we must overcome obstacles; how anxiety, guilt, and anger -- generally thought to have a negative impact on sexual arousal -- often turn out to be aphrodisiacs; how we use unresolved issues from our early lives to intensify passion; and why the best sex is dynamic and unpredictable, rather than static and safe.
He talks about how early in life we may have come to associate eroticism with anxiety (as in back-seat fumblings), so later, safe in the marriage bed, it is hard to... well, get hard. He talks about a woman who always chose men who ran hot and cold, until she figured out that she is turned on by a guy who is "almost" in love with her. He talks about how "longing" can be very erotic, but winning the object of our longing will probably mean a dr in eroticism.
It seems easier to inject a bit of interest in our exchanges when we are in the midst of other people, NG, and I'm guessing this works with other men too, is a creature who likes the 'relative' factor e.g. my wife is more confident, less aggressive etc etc. Party nites are hot ones for us
